Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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