It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
