Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
