Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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