At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
