Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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