I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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