Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
