Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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