And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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