tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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