Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
