I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
