wrigley field is MILF paradise
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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