covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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