There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
