She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
