Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how drunk are you?
Several
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
