He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
