Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
