why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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