So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
