i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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