He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
