Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
