I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
