I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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