You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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