what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
