he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
