we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
