i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
