Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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