woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
A+ Viking dick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
