i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need a beard to bite.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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