Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
