I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
