i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
