I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
