I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
