ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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