I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
