can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
