I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
