fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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