Is it normal to miss your booty call?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
