You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
