Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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