Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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