would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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