She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
