Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
