I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
