OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
