But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
