Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Life is so much better after having sex.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
