now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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