I hate your face
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
