She said her name was "party"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
